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Showing posts from December, 2012

Out of the Darkness

It's everything I had imagined it could be, but hoped it wouldn't. In my dreams it was a perfect day; the kind of day that is Hallmark commercial worthy. I am sucking on a candy cane with my earbuds in, hoping the music drowns everything else out.

My family puts the F-U-N in dysfunctional. It's almost as if special times bring out everyone's worst behavior.

And I am tired. I am tired of trying to be a peacekeeper. Tense relationships are still tense without Christ, and Christmas is no exception. Oh, and how the words cause wounds that will fester long after this day is over. The blame will linger for all of the hurts remembered.

It seems so dark, so hurtful. And the sun isn't shining today either. But the Light, the Light came into the darkness. The darkness of sin and of self. The darkness of a world so desperately in need. My family is in desperate need. So, I pray for the Light to eclipse the darkness in my home. And His light shines in my heart, even if it seem…

When You Lose Sight of the Manger

It is Christmas Eve. I am sitting on my couch in the same pajamas I have had on since Friday night. And I miss my grandparents. I am lonely.

I am the only one who really celebrates Christmas in my house. A plea to put up the tree is met with a "You go ahead...have fun." No one wants to listen to Christmas music, so I resort to my earbuds. No one wants to bake, just eat the end results. No one cares that there aren't presents, because all they really want anyway is as much cash as I will give them. And no one has the desire or time for church.

And it all begins to diminish...

The images of happy families converging together to celebrate is so foreign to me. Somehow, it becomes about everything else. And I have never been able to live up to people's expectations. It is almost with a sense of apology that I will present small tokens to those I love, somehow fearful that they will miss the thought behind my second-hand gifts. But it's not about that at all.

And all …

The End

"God, it's the end of the world, and I'm still 15 minutes late." -Penny {Seeking A Friend for the End of the World}
Today I: went to work; made coffee; answered phones; answered questions; greeted co-workers, children, and families; drank coffee; sang Christmas tunes; ate chocolate; responded to emails; listened; responded to hurting children; prayed; did the chicken dance with excited first and second graders; pinned on birthday ribbons; wrote out Christmas cards for families with gift cards; handed out cards; received cards and Christmas goodies; gave out hugs; passed out mail; laughed; ate more chocolate; remembered to breathe deep and smile when I didn't feel like it; came home; hugged husband; hugged boy; went on errand; played with cats; started laundry; made dinner; lit candles; put on music; said "I love you"; read; blogged...
And it has been a good day. 
Some people believed that the end of the Mayan cycle meant that today would be the end of …

Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus

I don't have anything profound to say. Really.

I was sick. I came into work late on Friday. I needed to handle a few time-sensitive tasks before returning home. I had not heard the news.

It came in an email from another secretary. I opened up the attached article. All I could do was shake my head in disbelief and bow it low.

Last night, the images of grief-stricken children and parents and an entire community left me undone. Prayers in the form of teardrops fell.

And they didn't stop for long. Today, while out running errands, my throat tightened upon seeing little ones with their parents. My thoughts went straight to those with longing arms and aching hearts.

And maybe I was just imagining it, but there seemed to be something different about today. Usually this close to Christmas, especially on a Saturday, there is a frenzy of activity that is generally characterized  by people behaving poorly {You know, the horn-honking, rude, impatient variety}. Today, however, people seeme…