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Showing posts from April, 2011

Being used...

So, I am in a funk. And in this state, I have been pondering things as I often do. Why is it so easy for me to feel completely defeated? I mean, seriously? Is it the longevity of this season; have I truly just given up? No, not really, but you might not know that by my behavior.

Am I tired? Sure, I am tired. I would even say that I am discouraged. It's hard to admit that I am having a hard time being thankful, but there you have it. I will even go further to say that in my flesh I am even jealous of others: their Christian spouses, financial security, homes, cars, careers, talents, vacations, Disneyland passes, you name it...(anything that makes me feel less than; worthless).

And I am virtually useless in this state save for grace. I realize that I am like Moses focusing on my "But I couldn't possibly" responses, when God is speaking to my spirit saying, "Yes, you will, because I have purposed you for this." And I am not exactly sure what "this"…