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Showing posts from May, 2011

A Beginning: My First Forty

It is hard having a friend who lives so very far away. It is even harder when that friend is in a deep valley. A few months ago, I received a package in the mail from my sweet friend Amy, who is going through her own valley. It was a book that she had said had helped her immensely: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

I looked at the cover and was intrigued, but I was having a hard time just getting through each day. So, it sat for some time, collecting dust, just as I was allowing my spirit to become dust-covered as well.

Days went on, and I felt like I couldn't breathe for the sheer weight of it all. I looked at the cover of the book one evening, and it read, "A dare to live fully right where you are". Something about that statement caught me off guard. Maybe because I had been going throught the motions and felt as if I truly hadn't been living. Not fully. So, I began reading, and although I am not finished yet, this is what was birthed:

From my journal:

My journ…


When the world doesn't make sense. When it feels like a flood has swept through, taking the sacred low. When little boys cry over dead rats, lost dogs and a deep disdain for what is. And when a mama swallows her own tears, chokes them back for another time unseen, and hushes sad boy with words of comfort she only half-heartedly believes herself.

When uncertainty reigns. When the valley is relentless and there are no mountaintops in sight. When everything is heavy and hope diminished. When there are no words. When it feels like this weary soul can't breathe for it's all heavy. When words seems meaningless. When sleep won't come. When it feels like there is nothing because family reminds of the lacking. When finding joy is challenging like remembering parts of a dream almost forgotten.

When all of it is too much, she cries out to be rescued from the only One who could ever save her. When she feels like ashes are being heaped upon her, she waits for the beauty. When she…