Sanctify

I sat in a dark room tonight, alone, eating a stale bowl of cereal with old milk, wondering how I got to this place. Head cloudy, chest full and heart aching. And I am so disappointed in myself.

Nothing seems to be going right and it is bothering me (which bothers me immensely). Being sick hasn't helped my disposition and I'm not handling things well. I'm over-emotional and find my joy fading as Glenn is unemployed once again and everything seems forced or strained. Communication. Relationships.

I feel misunderstood as I struggle with the bitterness that is welling up inside me.

And I can't bare it. And I cry out to be sustained. I long for a faith-response, even if met by silence because the silence seems suffocating as of late. A response that isn't based on my circumstances.

And I want to breathe. I want to live. To truly live a life set apart. And maybe to have that life set apart, everything must be stripped until it's just Him.

So if it's just You, my true Joy, which is more than I deserve, more than I need, then please hold me.