Winter Thaw

January 11, 2011. 1.11.11. Eleven days into the new year. Newness. Grace upon grace. A passing of old, an ushering in of all things new.

But what when old is stubborn? What if winter refuses to fade? What of newness then?

I reach out for grace and beg freeze to thaw. Beg life to spring forth from the barren. And it is relentless, this season that chastises and mocks me so. It illuminates the ice and all of the ways in which I need to grow. To grow with the Grace-giver guiding that I may cling tightly to Him in spite of freeze. Because of the freeze.

I ask for grace afresh as I remember that there are still things I can change...As I remember what is truly important. And I think to myself, 'not this'. Not most of the things that occupy my mind and keep me hostage, paralyzed to act.

And I am thankful tonight for the ways in which I am met here, in the wintertime. Thankful for the Grace-giver who never tires of mercies anew and the stretching in the ice. Thankful for the abundance of kindness and uplifting words (which I didn't realize how much I needed, until they were received). For rawness, for prayer, for rest that comes from sickness, for bread, for thinking of you texts and I miss you chats. For everything the Grace-giver knows I need, therefore will receive from his hands, both good and bad.

For...thaw.

Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me