It’s time.

 *tap, tap* Is this thing on? I guess Blogger is still up and running, which is good. I don’t think many people blog anymore, especially on Blogger. Maybe they have fancy websites, or they post influence-y TikToks, or vlogs, or actually write books. Who knows? But here I am. Coming back to what I know. 

Between August 2009 and September 2018, I published 139 blogs. I’d write consistently for awhile, then have large gaps. I was surprised to see that this last gap was almost five years. It was also a little disheartening to scroll through the titles and remember all the things I had felt so brave in sharing, are still, in many ways, things I still struggle with to this day. I poured myself into those posts. 

So, you may be wondering why have I decided to write #140. Because, simply, it’s time. It’s time to focus on doing the hard work. 

Although I am not Cheryl Strayed, and this is not my journey hiking the Pacific Crest Trail to find myself, I am currently sitting in an Airbnb in the mountains of Nothern California, 400 miles from home. You see, I have never really done anything alone. I’ve never lived alone. Never went away to college or done any traveling. My family began right out of high school. So when my time off was coming to an end, and I told my mister that I was feeling this strong pull to go somewhere solo, he fully supported me. 

In some ways, I feel more like Julia Robert’s character, Maggie, in Runaway Bride. She didn’t know how she liked her eggs. She always said her favorite was the same as her former fiancés. It’s time for me to figuratively figure out how I like my eggs (and strive to be the person I was created to be). 

I don’t have the best track record with follow-through. Maybe those things I previously let go of weren’t meant for me. All I know, with increasing clarity the older I get, is that more days are not promised and only the things done in love truly matter. 

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” -Mary Oliver

What, indeed?