Come What May

It has been about three and a half months since I have written anything. It is surprising how quickly the time seems to go by. In some ways, I feel as if I am not the same person anymore. I have grown a lot over these past months. And through the stretching and the growing, I have come to recognize with even more clarity how much more growing I have still ahead of me. In the meantime, I am holding tightly onto the grace that covers me. Imperfect, hopelessly flawed me.

This year, I haven't joined in on the "30 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge" posts on Facebook as I have done the last few years. But, I am so thankful, even if I am not posting it daily on FB. I am even thankful for the hard things because it's going through those things that cause me to pause. And when I pause, I can see how all of the struggles - the hard, stretching things - shape and mold. And each chisel strike might be painful, but when the healing comes, I am ultimately more whole.

So, without further ado, here is a list (not comprehensive by any means) of things in which I am thankful. So, so thankful.

• Grace. The grace that Jesus gives. Grace extended to others. And learning to be gentle and give myself grace as well. 
• My mister. He recently told me that he is happier than he has been in at least ten years and my heart swelled. And for the fact that we haven't given up after all these years. He has been so supported as of late. What can I say? After 23 years, I'm still smitten. 

• My boys. And all the ways in which being their mom has shaped me. Their health. Their future. They're amazing. 
• My friends who are part of my crazy family. The shoulders that have helped bear the burdens and been soaked in tears. My comic relief. My cheerleaders. My confidants. My kindred spirits who tell it like it is when I need to be reminded. 

• Those friends who have walked away, and by doing so have helped me to learn (and I am still learning) how to let go and to wish them well. 
• Creating new memories and accomplishing new things, like completing my first 5K. 

I am just genuinely content and hopeful. And I haven't felt that way in a very long time. This wild, messy life is a gift from God. And in remembering that, there is joy. Such joy. Come what may.