Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Hidden

Not only are things never perfect, they are also rarely what they seem. Jaden wanted to adopt an older kitten for his birthday. He was drawn to a picture on the shelter website. Besides being a little scrawny {she was a stray}, she looked perfectly fine. The weekend passed. They wanted to spay her before we took her home. We got a call yesterday to come get her. They didn't spay her because she was sick with a common infection that cats usually contract. They gave me medication.

I took a beaming boy and his sneezing kitten home. I wasn't too concerned at first, except she wouldn't eat. So, I ran the shower on hot and sat with my glasses fogged up. I put cat food in the blender and force fed her. Twice. I have fresh scratches and I smell of rotten fish. And I prayed. I prayed fervently for Primrose Everdeen Beasley, because she needs to be okay. We need to be okay.

I would gladly take all of the blame. But that doesn't change anything, does it? All I want to do is wrap myself up in His grace and remain there. And I remind myself that it will be okay. Eventually. But maybe not here. Not completely.

There is a purpose for this...

He has a plan to use this...

Tonight I hide myself away where I am safe with Him. And there, among the unknown, I can still lift my hands and my tired heart, bowing everything within me low before my God.

Safe.

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