Five Years Ago...

Five years ago today my sweet grandpa went to his eternal home. It was over four and a half years after his beloved bride. I never thought he'd make it so long, honestly. I was convinced that a broken heart would usher him heavenward in his sleep that first long and lonely year. Yet, it didn't. He would say that he didn't know why he had to stick around, but that there must have been things he still needed to do.

I know that in caring for him those last years, I learned so much. I learned that even after a life of sacrificing for others, he still had a hard time letting anyone do anything for him. I learned that sometimes you just had to do it anyway :) I learned how to be persistent with someone who could be stubborn (like as the day is long!). I learned to be an advocate, even if he didn't want me to be. I learned that sometimes you have to stand up to those you love because it's the right thing to do ("I know you don't like doctors or hospitals, but we NEED to go. Now."). I learned to sit contently and listen. I learned to never underestimate laughter. Ever. And I learned by watching that when we are really heartsick, the best and only thing to do is to hold on to Jesus and the hope that he gives. 

He had made it through his hip surgery. And I exhaled for the first time in days. We had stayed late into the night making sure he was settled. I brushed his gray hair off his forehead and gave him a kiss. I told him that I would see him tomorrow. He passed away near 3 AM. I learned that tomorrows aren't a given (even when we think they are), so make the best of each day. 

I held his watch today. The second hand still ticks 157 million seconds later and counting. Tonight, I am thinking about wonderful memories of my grandfather. The second hand reminds me that I am that much closer to heaven, too. And, as I listen to one of his favorite hymns, Rock of Ages, I can picture him singing, "When I rise to worlds unknown, and behold Thee on Thy throne, Rock of Ages, cleft for me, and let me hide myself in Thee." 

{I thought I'd share this picture. I adore it so. It was taken at my grandpa's retirement party, I believe. In the corner of the picture is me. I am sitting in my little rocking chair right in the middle of everything. That is what I remember: being enveloped by them. And I am loved. And I was truly happy.}