Heartstrings

I have been here before. I stop, because I dare not repeat it {aren't we supposed to learn from our past?}. We remember, lest we forget. I desperately want my response to be different.I tell the voice that plays the broken record of discouraging scenarios to be silent. I'd shout it all mute if I could. And, it is better. This unknown hasn't undone me. I won't fret. Blessed be the name of the Lord....Still I will say, blessed be your name...You give and take away. And hasn't He given me everything? Every good gift given from Him. He is faithful. Whatever happens, wherever I end up next year, it is in His hands. And I beg weak flesh to trust and remember all of the trusting of the past - All the ways He has proven himself {not that I even deserve that kind of proof}- because He loves me. Completely. Irrevocably.

And I give Him my heartstrings because He has always carried them anyway, and this feeble heart of mine. I believe, I believe, please help my unbelief. Because sometimes we don't understand the "Why?" this side of heaven, but I understand who holds my heart {and that brings such an overwhelming sense of peace}.

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Weary heart so destroyed it shouldn’t beat
It seems whole until shadows change, displaying thousands of scars
All different shapes and sizes; a roadmap of past sorrows laid bare
I trace them remembering, thankful for piercing needle and suture
I am hemorrhaging again, sucking in sharp breath through pain
A pain that deceives healed wounds that time alone could not heal
I alone could not heal
It seems selfish to ask in light of what He has already given
But once again I rip out this heart that has betrayed me
With fallen earth and sordid transgressions
And once again He willingly takes my scarred heart, mangled, bleeding
Handling the damaged flesh like it means something more
With gentle hands that numb the anguish, He grafts over brokenness
The unbearable pain becomes a dull ache that continues to fade
By grace, it beats