My Way

** Disclaimer: I, in no way, am attempting to bash any particular church with this post. God has put this much-neglected topic on my heart to share and I am only being obedient. If you are offended, maybe you should be. God is. **

Division. It's the elephant in our sanctuaries that nobody likes to talk about, but this doesn't change the fact that it is real. It is a nasty by product of the flesh that, if left unchecked and unchallenged, will grow so big that it will cause irrevocable damage while grieving the very heart of God.

We, as Christians, are set apart. We are not supposed to conform to the ways of this world. We are not supposed to treat one another poorly and operate our churches like corporate America.

Jesus, in his prayer recorded in John 17, prayed that we would be one. Paul, in his epistles, reminded us about the importance of unity in the body and keeping the bond of peace (see Ephesians 4).

The harsh reality is that when there is division within a body, it gives Satan a foothold. And, from what I have experienced, this foothold is enough to unleash horrific travesties that are far reaching into the life of a body.

I did not grow up in the church; I only went sporadically as a child. It wasn't until I was 20 years old that I came to rededicate my life to Christ and attend church on a weekly basis.

Most churches, just like most families, look okay on the outside. It's only when you stick around awhile and see the inner workings of living out life together that things start to look amiss.

I think sometimes it is easy for us to ignore warnings in scripture, or to assume that the message doesn't pertain to me. This is both wrong and extremely dangerous.

Galatians 5:19-21 states:

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

It's easy to say that I am not a lustful whore sorceress who gets drunk at wild parties, but do you see the middle section in blue??

Those sins directly correlate to division in the church. No one is immune. I'm not insinuating that churches are perfect. How could they be? We live in a fallen world and churches are made up of imperfect people.

What I will be bold enough to say is that church leaders need to be in prayer and be diligent; don't ignore the elephant because it is uncomfortable. Church members need to be in prayer for the church and its leaders. We are called to speak the truth in love and in certain situations that is a hard thing to do, but necessary when you consider the alternative.

A dearly-loved pastor once preached a sermon about division. I remember being so taken aback on one of his illustrations: A church splitting over what shade of green to paint the sanctuary.

This couldn't be true I thought, but unfortunately I've come to experience that in some cases people create division over a lot less. And division has a way of spreading like poison. Before you know it, this poison has infiltrated every facet of the body.

When we are so focused on getting our way, whatever way that may be (paint color, music styles, meeting dates, and so on ad nauseum) we completely lose our focus on Jesus. We become impotent. We are so completely self-absorbed that we only care about winning our battles regardless of the casualties.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8

Lord, help us to be a united people who are focused on You, for Your ways are not our ways. Let us be a people who love with Your love and extend grace instead of hoarding it. When we sin against you and contribute to division, trying to get our way like a tantrumming toddler, help us to quickly confess those sins and turn from wickedness. May everything we do and everything we say glorify You. Amen.

A Recipe of Sorts

It was a cool summer evening tonight; a rarity for August in Riverside. My mom sent me a text earlier in the evening asking if I wanted to use her 2-for-1 coupon for frozen yogurt (or fro yo as I like to call it).

So we made our way to the Plaza. During our evening, I asked if we could go to Borders. I love clearance sections. I was happily perusing the marked down stationary when I noticed my mother had meandered over to the clearance cookbooks. I have seen this scenario before. Inevitably she will purchase one or two. She must own three or four dozen by now. I, myself, have seen her purchase books, such as: Easy Crockpot Meals, Italian Appetizers, Desserts, and tonight's Paul Deen Cookbook.

Here's the thing. My mom does not cook. Not a lick.

Case in point. I remember when I was 8 or so and I was so ecstatic that my mom was cooking dinner. I lowered my head to look through the thick glass oven door. I remember being literally in awe as I watched the cheese bubbling. What was this culinary creation, you ask? Nachos. Yep, she took out a backing sheet, threw chips on it and covered them with cheddar cheese.

Now there is nothing inherently wrong with this; some women aren't gifted cooks. Many families survive on the convenient meals stores offer. In this season of my life, I am more apt to cook some pasta and italian sausage and smother it with canned spaghetti sauce than to craft a gourmet dinner from scratch. But, I am not out purchasing cookbooks by the droves either.

Here was the connection, or reminder that God gave me this evening: Just as owning countless cookbooks does not make someone a cook, nethier does owning a Bible make someone a genuine follower of Jesus.

Someone who wants to cook will need to have a recipe, the right ingredients and follow the exact instructions. Even then, sometimes the end product is not what we anticipated (maybe we forget an ingredient or a step; possibly overcook it). But, we try again in hopes of replicating the recipe.

Someone who wants to follow Jesus will need to accept him as Savior and follow his teachings. Even then, sometimes the end product is not what we anticipated (maybe we forget we live in a broken world; possibly overlook Him). But, because of grace we get a 'do over'.

I have a feeling there will be more for me to learn from this, but not tonight.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24

It is my prayer that we aren't just collectors of the Word, but doers! (See James 1:22-24).

Quiet

Shhh. Can you hear that? Neither can I! It's quiet, except for the whirring of some fans.

My husband is at work, my oldest son is on a backpacking trip and my youngest is on the computer with headphones. This level of quiet is unfortunately a rarity in my household.

So, this morning I am pondering why I (and I assume others) try to fill the silence with unnecessary noise.

So, it is with my relationship with God; it shouldn't be filled with extraneous noise. Nonetheless, I choose the noise more often than I'd like to admit. I turn on music, log on to Facebook, and find a myriad of ways to distract myself. Quiet can be uncomfortable; being quiet is a discipline that takes practice.

I remember an assignment I had in a interpersonal communications class. I was paired up with someone and had to listen to that person for 5 whole minutes without saying a word, without interjecting anything. It was so hard. It took concerted effort, but it wasn't impossible.

Time to be quiet before the Lord should be set aside.

set apart.

sanctified.

made holy.

Why is quietness so important? Here are a few reasons:

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever

A woman should learn in quietness

Instead, [your beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight

Having never been a morning person, I have always struggled to get up while my house was still quiet to seek the Lord uninterrupted. This, I'm coming to learn, is so paramount to my walk. It's more important than sleep or schedules. It should be like air to me.

So I start out small, like a mustard seed (can I get in 10 minutes?) and ask God to grow it and He does! Sure, I have off days, but nothing compares to sitting at the feet of Jesus as He shows me how to be still and know that He is God.

Do you have 10 minutes today for the One who offers you eternity?

Surrender

Surrender. This has been an over-arching theme in my life; the strands of which have been woven through books, scripture, Bible studies, women's retreat, video series, worship, sermons, spoken sentiments and so on.

Have you ever had the feeling like God was trying desperately to communicate with you, and moreover wanted your complete attention?

Unlike an exhausted mother's smile, head nods and occasional 'uh-huhs' directed toward a child who seeks her undivided attention, God isn't fooled by our meager attempts of going through the motions. Case in point, Isaiah 29:13:

And so the Lord says,“These people say they are mine.

They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.

Ouch! If I am being at all honest, I have to admit that I was convicted by this scripture. How many times has this been true in my life? How many times have I become distracted and taken my eyes off of Jesus only to settle for the less-than of this world?

Yet, all of my inadequacies cannot erase this simple truth:

I. am. His.

So, what does the God of the Universe want?

EVERYTHING. All that I am.

And how is this accomplished? By willingly surrendering all of ourselves to Him daily, until the habit takes root in our lives and hearts, then we surrender some more!

One of the biggest hurdles to completely surrendering ourselves to Christ is fear (I'm not talking about fear of the Lord here). Fear, when given a foothold in our lives, squashes our hope and weakens our faith.

Another way fear is so debilitating is when we forget God's favor. A story that illustrates this beautifully is found in Exodus 15. The Israelites were just rescued from slavery and witnessed God's power firsthand with the parting of the Red Sea. Shortly thereafter as they were in the Desert of Shur, they couldn't find water. When they finally arrived at Marah, they couldn't drink the water because it was bitter.

Did they trust in the Most High God? No! They complained. God showed Moses a piece of wood and turned the water sweet. Here's the ironic part: Marah was next to Elim, an oasis with twelve springs and 70 palm trees!

How many times have I been so caught up in bitterness that I have missed the 'Elims' God had for me?

So, in this season, God is teaching me to:

Reflect (forgetting God's favor leads to paralyzing fear and lack of faith)

Exalt (I will exalt God, my strength and salvation)

Surrender (it's an ongoing practice of willingly giving myself over)

Trust (I will trust Him in all circumstances, even if that means having to do things afraid)

Did you catch the acrostic above? I just did.

REST.

Yes, God desires to give us rest. You see, the more that we give, we are given infinitely more!

For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

~Zephaniah 3:17

**This blog post is lovingly dedicated to my sweet kindred spirit, Amy, whom encouraged me to keep writing. xo

Everything...

What would it look like if we did everything for the love of God? Brother Lawrence knew God moment by moment. He said, "In the way of God, thoughts count as little, love does everything."

I don't know about you. but much of my day seems filled with things that don't exactly conjure up love. What if, however, we focused not on the thing or act, but on our motivation, turning each thing into an act of worship? Hmmm....

Let's face it, attitude makes a huge difference; the attitude of our hearts is no less important. When I am in a group setting and asked to pray, I will oftentimes pray that whatever we do or whatever we say would glorify God. And you know how this is worked out? With love, that's how!

So, we can't change out to-do lists or the myriad of other things that pull us in every direction on a daily basis, but we can change how we do them: for the love of God!

So, today I...

did laundry...for the love of God

paid a bill...for the love of God

went on errands with my husband...for the love of God

cuddled with my son...for the love of God

played with my dogs...for the love of God

read...for the love of God (and on and on...)

So, on my journey to know God more intimately in 2010, I hope to be able to have everything that I do or say be as unto the Lord. The next time I feel selfish motives threaten to rear its ugly head, I'll stop and remember this:

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

Who's with me?

Reflective Journaling... -Uh

I am always with you. Psalm 73:23

In this season of my life, how much can I relate to the opening prayer (where life, kids, etc... interrupt any attempts at a quiet prayer time)?

I can definitely relate to feeling like it is trying to find times that are truly quiet. This is why it is so important to set apart time that will be most conducive to quiet. For me, this means choosing to get up early (which honestly is a struggle for someone who is clearly the opposite of a morning person). But, even though it's a challenge, I am praying that it is a habit that I will stick with, because it truly is vital to my walk.

What adjectives describe my structured devotional life?

If I am honest, I would say inconsistent. That's the point of all this, isn't it? Having a purpose and something to help facilitate my quiet times is so helpful. I am looking forward to starting the Gospel of John next week at the Difference, The Love Dare with my husband, and the women's study in February.

I am challenged to look for him, even in the mundane and to intentionally increase my awareness that God is with me (and that he is happy about it!). And so am I!

Intimate Conversations

Life is unpredictable at best. People let us down. Jobs aren't dependable. Spouses disappoint us. Friends betray us. Children are rebellious. Family dysfunction runs deep. Those closest to us will die. Children grow up. We grow older. We, too, will die.

What, in this uncertain and ever changing world, remains steadfast? Who, without fail, will never leave or forsake us? The answer is Jesus and His life-altering love.

It's not a secret that I have been feeling very disconnected as of late. I work nearly every Sunday, which keeps me out of worship about 98% of the time. In the fall I was very blessed to be able to co-lead a women's study, which concluded Mid-November. That study was a life jacket of sorts in the very rough waters I was traversing. When it ended, I was left flailing a bit in the midst of a harsh season.

I have prayed about finding another church to attend, but finding a right fit with the time constrictions has proven too much right now.

I prayed and asked dear friends to help hold me accountable (accountability is not very PC nowadays, but you better believe that it is necessary and scriptural - everyone needs someone to hold them accountable for we will all be accountable to God for every action).

With that, we set out to find something to help foster quiet times with God and in His Word. We decided on a book that one had from a conference titled Intimate Conversations.

A blurb on the back cover states, "Intimacy with God is not on pause until we can carve out serene aromatic spaces and control our calendars; intimacy can be realized in every gloriously messy moment of each unpredictable day." This resonated with my heart.

I want that kind of deep, abiding intimacy. So, my entries may look a bit different from here on out as I go through some of these devotions and journal some responses.

I am feeling weary, but ready to let it all go and rest in the arms of He who never slumbers. I am ready to fall more in love with my Savior.

Life is unpredictable and I don't want to just get through it and survive it; as we have said in our study, I want to thrive. And the only way to do so is by abiding in Him.

As my grandfather neared the end of his life, he rekindled his love relationship with Jesus. He loved watching old black and white broadcasts of Billy Graham and others. I can hear him singing these words and tonight this is my prayer:

I am weak, but Thou art strong; Jesus, keep me from all wrong; I’ll be satisfied as long As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

Through this world of toil and snares, If I falter, Lord, who cares? Who with me my burden shares? None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o’er, Time for me will be no more; Guide me gently, safely o’er To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.