Reflective Journaling... -Uh

I am always with you. Psalm 73:23

In this season of my life, how much can I relate to the opening prayer (where life, kids, etc... interrupt any attempts at a quiet prayer time)?

I can definitely relate to feeling like it is trying to find times that are truly quiet. This is why it is so important to set apart time that will be most conducive to quiet. For me, this means choosing to get up early (which honestly is a struggle for someone who is clearly the opposite of a morning person). But, even though it's a challenge, I am praying that it is a habit that I will stick with, because it truly is vital to my walk.

What adjectives describe my structured devotional life?

If I am honest, I would say inconsistent. That's the point of all this, isn't it? Having a purpose and something to help facilitate my quiet times is so helpful. I am looking forward to starting the Gospel of John next week at the Difference, The Love Dare with my husband, and the women's study in February.

I am challenged to look for him, even in the mundane and to intentionally increase my awareness that God is with me (and that he is happy about it!). And so am I!

Intimate Conversations

Life is unpredictable at best. People let us down. Jobs aren't dependable. Spouses disappoint us. Friends betray us. Children are rebellious. Family dysfunction runs deep. Those closest to us will die. Children grow up. We grow older. We, too, will die.

What, in this uncertain and ever changing world, remains steadfast? Who, without fail, will never leave or forsake us? The answer is Jesus and His life-altering love.

It's not a secret that I have been feeling very disconnected as of late. I work nearly every Sunday, which keeps me out of worship about 98% of the time. In the fall I was very blessed to be able to co-lead a women's study, which concluded Mid-November. That study was a life jacket of sorts in the very rough waters I was traversing. When it ended, I was left flailing a bit in the midst of a harsh season.

I have prayed about finding another church to attend, but finding a right fit with the time constrictions has proven too much right now.

I prayed and asked dear friends to help hold me accountable (accountability is not very PC nowadays, but you better believe that it is necessary and scriptural - everyone needs someone to hold them accountable for we will all be accountable to God for every action).

With that, we set out to find something to help foster quiet times with God and in His Word. We decided on a book that one had from a conference titled Intimate Conversations.

A blurb on the back cover states, "Intimacy with God is not on pause until we can carve out serene aromatic spaces and control our calendars; intimacy can be realized in every gloriously messy moment of each unpredictable day." This resonated with my heart.

I want that kind of deep, abiding intimacy. So, my entries may look a bit different from here on out as I go through some of these devotions and journal some responses.

I am feeling weary, but ready to let it all go and rest in the arms of He who never slumbers. I am ready to fall more in love with my Savior.

Life is unpredictable and I don't want to just get through it and survive it; as we have said in our study, I want to thrive. And the only way to do so is by abiding in Him.

As my grandfather neared the end of his life, he rekindled his love relationship with Jesus. He loved watching old black and white broadcasts of Billy Graham and others. I can hear him singing these words and tonight this is my prayer:

I am weak, but Thou art strong; Jesus, keep me from all wrong; I’ll be satisfied as long As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee, Grant it, Jesus, is my plea, Daily walking close to Thee, Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

Through this world of toil and snares, If I falter, Lord, who cares? Who with me my burden shares? None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

When my feeble life is o’er, Time for me will be no more; Guide me gently, safely o’er To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.